Distracted

Luke 10:38-42

July 17, 2022

 

Chef Ina Garten, also known as the Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network, once told a story about the first dinner party she ever hosted. She was still a relatively young bride, a novice cook, and she thought that it would be a good idea to make all of her guests individual omelets.

            As she described it, that good idea turned out to be a terrible one. Omelets aren’t a hard dish to prepare, but they take a few minutes, even for the most experienced of cooks. Ina realized too late that making one for everyone at the party meant that she was trapped in the kitchen for most of the evening. That was the worst part about it, she said. Ina never got to spend any time with her guests. Instead, she stood in front of the stove all night, while her husband visited with their friends. At that moment, the Barefoot Contessa made a solemn vow. From that point on whenever she entertained, she would make sure she could prepare things ahead. She would never again ignore her guests while she worked in the kitchen all night long. Ina said she would make sure that she could prepare most of her meal in advance, and then she’d have maximum time with her friends. I’m not sure her show is even on the Food Network anymore, but if you have ever had a chance to watch it, you know that she has been true to the vow she made. Every recipe she offers, every entertaining idea she gives, is about what can be done well before the guests arrive. When the guests arrive for the meal, she is there with them, present and in the moment.

            I doubt Ina Garten would have described herself as a Martha or as Mary. But at her first dinner party, she was doing what we might call a “Martha”. She was in the kitchen, cooking, working, distracted by making the omelets for her guests, and unable to enjoy herself, her friends, or the food she was working so hard to prepare.

            I will confess to you that I struggle with this passage from Luke. I struggle with what seems to be the very derogatory tone in Jesus’ voice when he speaks to Martha. And if that derogatory and dismissive tone was not in Jesus’ voice, then it has been added over the years by interpreters and preachers of all sorts. You know the tone I’m speaking of, the one an adult might use when speaking to a naughty child.

            “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

            Martha wasn’t a child. And she wasn’t breaking any rules either. In fact, she was doing what was expected of her by her culture, by the society she lived in, by the men who had gathered at her home expecting a meal. Martha was doing exactly what she had been taught to do her entire life, exactly what she was told was her duty to do. Hospitality was paramount and being hospitable took work. Martha was doing the work of hospitality.

            But Mary was not. In any other situation, Mary would have been seen as shirking her duty. And I can imagine – actually, I think I know – how Martha felt. I can feel the tension and stress rising in her. I can feel her growing frustration and anger. I can hear her slamming utensils and cookware around as she worked. And I can see her catching glimpses of her sister, sitting at the feet of Jesus, and not helping.

            I struggle with this passage because Martha too often gets a bad rap, and Mary gets all the praise. Many years ago a very wise woman said to me that if all the Marthas of the church sat down, the church would fall down shortly thereafter. And nine years ago, when I was attending the CREDO conference for ministers, one of our faculty members preached on this passage at our worship service. She stood before the communion table and commented that all of us gathered there were used to standing before the communion table, calling people to gather for the sacrament, calling people to remember Jesus as they partake of the bread and the cup. But then she said, the next time you stand before this table, you also need to remember the person or persons that prepared it, set it, and made it ready. That person was probably a Martha.

            Debi Thomas wrote in a commentary about this passage that she was frustrated with Jesus not about encouraging Martha to do what was really necessary, but in not pushing the disciples gathered to step up and help so Martha could do what was really necessary. As Thomas wrote, Martha’s anxiety did not come from a vacuum. Her anxiety and worry go back to all the expectations laid on her, the expectations that I spoke of earlier. Thomas said that she would have been thrilled to read that Jesus told Peter to go chop the vegetables, and for James to knead the bread, and for Andrew and Bartholomew to set the table. After all, Jesus was already going against the tradition by allowing Mary – a woman ­– to sit at his feet as a disciple would. What would the next 2,000 years have looked like, asks Thomas, if Jesus had pushed the men to do something so counter-cultural as well?

            But that didn’t happen, or if it did, it has been redacted from this story, so we must deal with what we have before us. And what we have before us is Jesus telling Martha, not as a parent to a child, but maybe as a teacher to a disciple, that she has missed the point. She is worried and distracted by many things, but the only thing necessary in that moment was being with Jesus, sitting at his feet, and learning from him. That was the only thing necessary.

            According to scholarship, the root of the word for worry is “strangle” or “to be seized by the throat.” The root of the word, distracted, is “a separation or a tearing apart of something that is meant to be whole.” Literally, Martha is being strangled by her responsibilities and her distraction is a fracturing or a fragmenting of who is supposed to be, who she is called to be.

            Does that resonate with you as much as it does with me? I know that sometimes my worry and my anxiety make me feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t make my body take a deep and restorative breath. I am too worried, I am too anxious, too strangled by my fears and anxieties and expectations to fill my body with the oxygen it requires. And in turn, my worries and anxieties, much less my responsibilities render me so distracted that I don’t feel whole. I just feel like bits and pieces of my self are being flung hither and yon.

            Strangled and torn apart. Worried and distracted. Martha was being strangled by her worries and torn apart by her distractions. She needed only one thing, and that was to be with Jesus. She needed only one thing, and that was to be single-minded in her pursuit to sit at Jesus’ feet and learn from him.

            When I was a student intern in a church in Virginia, I was invited by the men’s bible study and fellowship group to give a presentation about my trip to the Middle East. They had a monthly dinner, and each month they would invite a special guest to speak. I was that guest. I worked hard on my presentation. I had a whole slide show put together. I brought souvenirs from my trip. I was excited to be their guest and to share stories of my travels.

            And when it came time for the meal, I got up and started to help with bringing food out to the tables, and making sure folks had what they wanted to drink, extra napkins if they needed them, etc. The pastor, Greg, who was my supervisor during that year, came over to me and said,
            “Go sit down. You were not invited here to serve or to work. You were invited here as a special guest. It is the men’s responsibility to serve you. Not the other way around.”

            Feeling like I needed to help was ingrained in me, but on that night, it was making me worried and distracted. I had lost my focus. But I did what Greg said to do. I sat down. I allowed myself to be served, and when it came time for the presentation, I was on it. We had a wonderful evening, and I left grateful for the opportunity and grateful for Greg’s reminder not to be distracted by many things, but to be true to my purpose for the evening.

            It seems to me that Jesus was not reprimanded Martha but reminding her. Martha needed to be reminded of what her purpose was in that moment. Yes, hospitality was important. Her work was of great value, something that we still forget, but there was only one thing necessary and that was being with Jesus. There was only one thing that would release the grip of worry on her throat and make her whole, and that was to be with Jesus. That was her single purpose at that moment. That was what was necessary.

            What distracts us? What keeps us torn apart? What worries keep us strangled and gasping for breath? What keeps us from the feet of Jesus? Because it is at his feet that is the foundation for everything else we do. It is sitting at the feet of Jesus that gives us the strength and the courage and the hope to stand up again and do the work that we are called to do. Sitting at his feet is what makes us whole.

            Thanks be to God for the Marthas in our lives and for the Marys. Thanks be to God that all of us are necessary and all of us are loved.

            Let all of God’s children say, “Alleluia.”

            Amen.